Everyday I deal with these negative feelings surrounding my not being able to sit zazen. I want to practice. Maybe I don't want it bad enough? I don't know. I do know that these negative feelings that I generate around this issue is not helping me. I need to be kinder to myself and realize that some days I may not get to sit on my buckwheat hull zafu facing a blank white wall. Rather, I may have sat in my office chair, made my body as upright as possible, and spent 5 or 10 minutes practicing durign the day. Is one "better" than the other? No, I don't truely think so by that's what my ego tells me.

Accept my life right where I am today. Sitting at home on the zafu, sitting at the office on the chair or not sitting at all. what ever my life is right now is what it is.